Warning: All opinions expressed henceforth belong to Matt "Smoot" Bowyer, and do not in any way, shape, or form reflect the opinions of Fortunecity, Left of Nowhere, or probably anyone.

HOLY CRAP! It's May!

  So, here's something funny. I decided against writing that column about Radford life. Why, you ask? Well, it's quite simple, really.

  I'm no longer a Radford student. It all happened really quickly. And I've gone through the story about half a million times, and those who need to know are already in that "need to know" stage, and have heard. I'll probably write a rant about it when I run out of other things to rant about.

  Trust me, I've got plenty to rant about. But I'll probably do it either in "A Sermon," or off in my current little distraction elsewhere on the Web. You people want entertaining, and by luck of the draw, that's what I want to give you.

  Well, that and a healthy helping of my ego.

  Matt Bowyer's Pet Peeves of the Last Four Months, Give or Take a Week or Two:

  1) BILLS!: Specifically, the fact that I have to pay them now.
  2) Bad CD-ROMs: Specifically, mine. There's a small problem somewhere in in laser setup on mine, which means that it occasionally just not spin a CD. Usually in the middle of a game.
  3) Bad Hard Drives: Guess whose? There's something in my hard drive which means that any Black Isle games I play have a detrimental effect on my computer. (Read that: Last time I played Torment, we ended up gutting my computer like a fish to see what the problem was.)
  4) People Who Think "Oldies" Is The Only Good Music Available Today: You people? If you're reading? Go listen to "If I Ever Lose My Faith In You," by Sting, and then listen to that Take A Letter Irene song, or whatever it was. And then come back and talk to me.
  5) People Who Believe That They Have This Infallible Right To Say Whatever They Want, Whenver They Want To: Especially the people who think that I can't complain, or rant at them, or call them a big frickin' idiot, because it's THEIR right and there's nothing I can do if they want to be a big idiot in public. News flash, jack: You can be an idiot all you want. Go for it, feel free, rock the boat, rock the casbah, I don't bloody well care. But don't expect me to let you take up my airspace, oxygen, carbon dioxide, and time so you can spout off and show just how orally challenged you really are. Either learn how to express yourself in an educated manner where it isn't obvious that you're nothing greater than a garden-variety grade-A moron when you speak, or expect me to make sure that you are very aware of your public ineptitude. When my village needs an idiot, pal, I'll be sure to call you.
  6) Me: I annoy the crap out of myself. I don't write enough, I screwed right out of college, I'm an egomaniac, I'm a regular zealot when it comes to things I believe in, and I don't always do what I need to do before I do the things I want to.
  7) High School: It's in the back of my mind again. For many reasons. One of them being, that I may end up teaching at one. I better get some good ideas on how to earn a living, fast.
  8) Crazy Over-Zealous Religious People: Hey, look, I know MY God doesn't tell me to start webpages filled with fire-and-brimstone preachings and to decry the masses before telling them how much greater I am than them due to the influence of my deity. Tolerance, people, tolerance.
  9) Everyone Else In The World: I figure I'll take care of that now, since everyone I ever meet will annoy me somehow. Because -everyone- who meets someone else will eventually be annoyed with them at one point.

  And now, the whore.

  Sting live.

  That's what is the best thing in the entire world, audially. Sting, as in Gordon Sumner the British musician, live in concert. I was lucky enough to go see him earlier this month, and I sat in awe for about two and a half hours. Absolutely incredible. Two encores, lots of obscure stuff played, and Sting is one of the the music industry's great entertainers. I would've gone just to sit there with my eyes closed and hear it all live. 

  Another reason to go is to see/hear what Sting does with the older songs. He pulled "Roxanne" out into an eight-minute kinda funk-driven song, and "When The World Is RUnning Down You Make The Best Of What's Still Around" became a fourteen-minute song, broken up into solo breaks for whoever onstage wanted to take one. It was a fantastic, fantastic show. Best I've ever seen.

  Recently, I invested in a Dreamcast. Cost me 75 dollars, once it was all said and done. Dreamcast, two controllers (one belonging to my rooommate, the Austrian Blacksmith), and one of those cool little windowed memory cards. And I needed to get a game for this Dreamcast, so I can could truly enjoy it.

  So I ordered Soul Calibur. What is Soul Calibur, you ask?

  Only the greatest weapon-based fighting game ever created, I answer. Why is it that? Well, you've got a great mix of characters and styles, some absolutely gorgeous artwork and scenery, and the fighting itself is absolutely seamless and perfect.

  And it's got this cute anime girl named Seung Mina. Who no one has managed to beat me with, in a Mina vs. Mina fight. Hah.

  Phrykyh, my online editor, sounding board, and person-to-annoy-with-story-ideas, recently decided to send me a book. A dog-eared, old, well-worn book that he said was one of the best books he'd ever read.

  Seeing as I'm about to promote it like a man promotes stolen diamonds, you can guess that I agreed. 

  Santiago, by Mike Resnick, is the book he sent, and I'm ashamed I never found it earlier. It's science-fiction, set in the future (of course) and revolves largely around a group of bounty hunters looking for the greatest catch in the universe, the outlaw Santiago. The characters themselves are great, right down to the little bit cameos. After I read this one more time, I'm going to continue the little Resnick legacy Phry's give me the idea for, and pass this one to someone else who's never read it, and buy myself a copy. Who wants to read a good book? You know my email address.

  I really do need to get these other sections done. I have a lot of plans for the role-playing section, especially since I'm writing Questing, and running a Planescape game this summer. And playing Mage, Vampire, Wraith, D&D, and a Kult one-shot in August hopefully. Billy! Run Kult!

  So I'll try to work on those in the meantime. I also want to try and get a chapter of Questing at least done and to my editor every week. So Phry, hold me to that. Now, if I just don't play Starcraft incessantly in the meantime...

  I'm going to keep this one short, so I get it done today. Nothing really big, just the general "Yo, I'm back, and plan on staying this way" entry. Plus, if I post about 14-page entry, I'll be sucking out too much of your time.

Hey, here's an idea. Email me and tell me what you thought. C'mon, it'll be fun. Really.